Home Blogs Bathroom Break, Boss? Week of 14 April 2002
Week of 14 April 2002
So I've mentioned before that I have to go through these posts on boards. There are style boards and sports boards. TV boards and News boards. A bunch of boards huddled under a category but have a little more specificity than that. There are over 600 boards at this site. I thankfully don't have to go through all of them. Just the more controversial ones or heated ones according to this unwavering schedule I have for the year or the next couple of months. Nothing specially planned or extremely scientific, nothing too random either.
Anyway. I've only came to mention that, both this year and last year (strangely enough), I've had to sweep through the drug boards at work on 4/20.
Blaze on. Hugs not drugs.
Just say: know
That's all.
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Dear Ms. "I Only Wear Ethnic Clothing to Show That I Am Educated and Cultured",
If you come to me again with another petty concern that I am not responsible for, I will not hesitate to take that fucking cup of Chai tea, or some shit in your hands, and pour it all over your already deformed face. I apparently don't give a shit about your protectiveness of the overpriced coffee table in the office, therefore I am going to keep the industrial hole-punch there so it's noticeable to everyone, you selfish bitch.
Love an annoyed co-worker soul
who obviously has no respect for you,
Blue Hair Girl
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Gone
Today Chairman Kaga sheds a bitter tear as he commemorates the departure of his boon companion, Corpulent, Lazy Ass Co-Worker. I don't know what I'll miss more -- his sparkling personality, rapier wit, or impeccable grooming. Perhaps most of all I'll miss the symphony of belches, grunts and other bodily emissions that made every workday a fresh adventure in nausea!
Remembering Corpulent, Lazy Ass Co-Worker
• I'll never forget the way he used to sneeze into his hands and then rub the snot into his t-shirt...
• How, when someone came by to ask me about an issue, he would interrupt me to attempt to answer the question even though he didn't know jack shit about it and I'd have to tell him to shut up...
• The way he'd sit there mindlessly web surfing during the busiest part fo the day, and ignoring the flood of calls that came his way...
• The way the disapproval of both his supervisor and manager slid right off his back as he ignored warning after warning about his incompetence...
• The way the prospect of an impending unplanned baby and the move to a larger, more expensive residence somehow failed to light a fire under his ass and make him actually take his job seriously...
Apparently the last straw was when, after the oafish fellow was bullwhipped into actually doing the task to which he was assigned, he managed to louse it up so thoroughly that the company ended up having to hire two temps just to clean up his mess, much to the consternation of the higher-ups and the embarrassment of the department.
The morning I found out he was gone, I doused the cubicle with Clorox. As the bleach fumes rose up to obscure the lingering B.O., obliterating the final traces of my Corpulent Lazy Ass Former Co-Worker, my spirit rose up and belched out a hosanna to a universe in which, sometimes, there is justice.
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What's more frustrating than trying to make sense of a really stupid customer's email? Trying to make sense of a customer's email when they speak another language and translate everything they send you through the incoherence generator known as the Google Language Tool. There are plays by Eugene Ionesco that would make more sense as trouble tickets than some of this email.
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This is so boring, I could throw up all over myself!
Trust me when I say airbrushing boobs to make them appear perkier and more succulent eventually gets tired and old. I feel like one of those midwestern hopefuls who come to hollywood with hopes of becoming the next Katie Holmes but instead find myself working at the local strip club... not that there's anything wrong with being a stripper... it's just not what you thought you'd be doing. Plus, when mom and pop ask to see some of your new artwork, you have to lie and say that your boss won't let you unveil the new projects. Y'know?
