Home Blogs After Hours November 2003
A Day | 11.05.03 | 12:03:30 PM
You know you're slacking off bigtime on your blog when you have to post something just to keep everything from sliding off the page!
Kinda stressed out and uncreative this week. Not really doing the "talking" thing.
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COMMENT:
AUTHOR: matthew
EMAIL: bino1@hotmail.com
IP: 209.242.228.11
URL: http://bakiwop.f2o.org
DATE: 11/05/2003 12:22:10 PM
but this is where you would talk about why you were stressed out and then everyone would be sympathetic and then everything would be all better!
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COMMENT:
AUTHOR: B²
EMAIL: b@weirdsmobile.com
IP: 67.250.176.100
URL: http://www.weirdsmobile.com/b/
DATE: 11/05/2003 12:28:16 PM
Yeah, but it's like, sometimes you get stressed and you want to throw a gigantic pity party, and sometimes you get stressed and you want to strand yourself on a desert island. This is one of those times! The latter, that is.
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COMMENT:
AUTHOR: Jim
EMAIL: chaos@corrupt.net
IP: 67.106.83.29
URL: http://chaos.corrupt.net
DATE: 11/05/2003 12:50:26 PM
Yeah, I know. You want to be alone with your hate! It does sometimes help. Have a good time brooding on the desert island, comrade.
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COMMENT:
AUTHOR: Sherri
EMAIL: Sylkenvelvet@yahoo.com
IP: 68.59.165.165
URL: http://formyselfandothers.blogspot.com/
DATE: 11/05/2003 05:30:02 PM
We love you even in your silence.
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COMMENT:
AUTHOR: BOB
EMAIL: bob@agirlnamedbob.com
IP: 172.148.190.211
URL: http://agirlnamedbob.com
DATE: 11/05/2003 09:21:09 PM
If you need anyone killed, let me know.
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COMMENT:
AUTHOR: Susan
EMAIL: susan@flowerhead.com
IP: 65.178.208.30
URL: http://flowerhead.com
DATE: 11/06/2003 04:30:16 PM
This entry wouldn't bother me without the photo of you on the toilet next to it. There's something really sad about feeling down on the john. Reminds me of Elvis, maybe.
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COMMENT:
AUTHOR: groovebunny
EMAIL: wabbit@groovebunny.com
IP: 68.224.168.139
URL: http://groovebunny.diaryland.com
DATE: 11/06/2003 10:35:14 PM
I've been stressed all week myself. I find donuts make me happy at work even when I feel like ripping my co-worker's head off and hanging it in front of our department entry way to ward off any other evil projects being dumped on me at the last minute.
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COMMENT:
AUTHOR: Marissa
EMAIL: riss@feelingismutual.com
IP: 164.58.89.2
URL: http://www.feelingismutual.com/blog.php
DATE: 11/06/2003 11:08:06 PM
I think I can relate pretty well...just check out my complete lack of posting for the entire month of October. It's sad but I still really don't feel like posting even now that I have small pockets of free time. blah
☄
A Day | 11.10.03 | 06:05:44 AM
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COMMENT:
AUTHOR: matthew
EMAIL: bino1@hotmail.com
IP: 209.242.228.11
URL: http://bakiwop.f2o.org
DATE: 11/10/2003 10:42:03 AM
i always wanted to move to barrow, alaska - but the girlfriend says 'no'. damn women.
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COMMENT:
AUTHOR: Sherri
EMAIL: Sylkenvelvet@yahoo.com
IP: 68.59.165.165
URL: http://formyselfandothers.blogspot.com/
DATE: 11/10/2003 01:34:20 PM
Three in the morning lasts a whole lot longer in Alaska.
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COMMENT:
AUTHOR: estella
EMAIL: floatdrownswim@hotmail.com
IP: 68.99.210.225
URL: http://outofcharacter.blogspot.com
DATE: 11/10/2003 02:12:36 PM
Good point, Sherri. At least the men outnumber the women by like ten to one. So... that's one problem source gone.
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COMMENT:
AUTHOR: Keely St. Clair
EMAIL: SpyWhoLovedYou@aol.com
IP: 69.0.55.132
URL: http://www.weirdsmobile.com/keely
DATE: 11/10/2003 04:27:31 PM
Three a.m. is when I relive the most humiliating, painful, inadequate, and guilt-inducing moments of my life.
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COMMENT:
AUTHOR: Sherri
EMAIL: Sylkenvelvet@yahoo.com
IP: 68.59.165.165
URL: http://formyselfandothers.blogspot.com/
DATE: 11/10/2003 07:03:46 PM
Oh, I don't need a particular time of day or night to relive my humilations and guilt. I can contemplate my inadequecies, past, present and future, any ol' time.
I'm talented like that.
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COMMENT:
AUTHOR: dvl
EMAIL: dvloranger@aol.com
IP: 172.198.27.219
URL:
DATE: 11/11/2003 12:29:26 AM
three a.m. is about when i realized i had found my partner in crime.
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COMMENT:
AUTHOR: Suzette
EMAIL: suzettetraveler@yahoo.com
IP: 216.44.68.236
URL:
DATE: 11/11/2003 08:49:25 PM
I am not bothered by 3 am, but I can go awake all Sunday night into Monday morning rehashing what my second grade teacher said to me, how my first head nurse withheld approval, or what I should have said.
Every week.
☄
A Day | 11.11.03 | 08:45:24 AM
I can't believe there was a time just a few weeks ago where I complained about feeling sleepy at 10 p.m. every night and waking up at 6 a.m. every morning.
So, we're back to the insomnia thing. The prodigal son returns. Ol' Owl Eyes is back.
The difference this time around is that I actually do feel sleepy at bedtime. I just can't seem to go that last yard and actually fall asleep. I lay awake with my eyes and my head hurting with fatigue, but sleep won't come. Not until much, much later, when what little sun I get in this wooded area seeps through my blinds.
It's about 8:10 a.m. as I write this. I'm wondering if I should just stay up, shuffle my way through the day in a zombie-like state, and go to bed at a reasonable hour. Hey, I could do a mini-Blogathon. Har.
Sometimes the mind is a terrible thing. Period.
I felt like this all the time back in college, in Wisconsin. I drank like a fish because my brain was making noise all the time, and I couldn't make it shut up any other way. It's like having a radio tuned to static hidden somewhere in your apartment, and you can't find it to shut it off, and you hear it all the time. It's not so bad during the day, but at night there's nothing to distract you from the noise.
In other brain-related news....
The other day it occurred to me that I've become 25-30% dumber than I was ten or fifteen years ago. I have more knowledge, but I'm markedly less able to do anything productive with that knowledge. My mind, never very lithe, more like a steamroller than a songbird, has grown progressively less nimble.
At first I thought it was some physiological issue, or a product of adulthood, but I've since realized that this is, in fact, the result of a conscious, systematic effort on my part to not think about stuff.
The less I think, the happier I become.
Don't think, my dad always admonished me. If you think too much, you'll get depressed. I scoffed. How could enlightenment and wisdom bring anything but bliss?
Ha ha ha!
I'm not sure whether I want to halt my downward I.Q. spiral, or reverse it, or accelerate it, or what. Maybe the guy in Flowers for Algernon had the right idea. I can envision a sequel to Algernon in which Charly becomes super-smart again, realizes that enlightenment is for shit, and immediately chugs a bucket of lead-based paint. Then he kicks back and catches the latest episode of Average Joe.
I don't know where I'm going with this, but I suspect it's a one-way trip, so I'm getting off at the next stop.
I suppose I don't know where I'm going, period. I've never felt so completely lost. And at night, I feel this deep and abiding fear. Of what, I don't know. But it's there all the time. I lurch from one moment of half-clarity to the next like a seal trapped beneath Arctic ice seeking out air bubbles.
But there I go, thinking again.
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COMMENT:
AUTHOR: Sherri
EMAIL: Sylkenvelvet@yahoo.com
IP: 68.59.165.165
URL: http://formyselfandothers.blogspot.com/
DATE: 11/11/2003 09:33:10 AM
Yes.
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COMMENT:
AUTHOR: Sherri
EMAIL: Sylkenvelvet@yahoo.com
IP: 68.59.165.165
URL: http://formyselfandothers.blogspot.com/
DATE: 11/11/2003 07:13:19 PM
I happened on this and thought it might amuse you.
In a real dark night of the soul it is always three o'clock in the morning, day after day.
F. Scott Fitzgerald, "The Crack-Up" (1945)
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COMMENT:
AUTHOR: Angela
EMAIL: ienjoyfarting@yahoo.com
IP: 65.117.192.66
URL: http://theshakedown.diaryland.com
DATE: 11/12/2003 08:27:34 AM
Sounds like you just have too much time on your hands, B². Maybe you should start a new hobby or do some volunteer work. I don't know, but I do know that I feel that way too sometimes. And it's usually when I have too much time on my hands to, well, think.
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COMMENT:
AUTHOR: B²
EMAIL: b@weirdsmobile.com
IP: 67.250.177.253
URL: http://www.weirdsmobile.com/b/
DATE: 11/12/2003 09:43:15 AM
Well, if past experience is any guide, these periods of stagnation and dissatisfaction usually precede some kind of major change, so you're probably right.
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COMMENT:
AUTHOR: bakiwop
EMAIL: bino1@hotmail.com
IP: 209.242.228.11
URL: http://bakiwop.f2o.org
DATE: 11/12/2003 10:49:38 AM
move. move to estes park, co. climb mountains and shit.
☄
A Day | 11.12.03 | 12:41:41 PM
Angela's right -- I need to do something. I think all my angst and moaning and groaning of the past few weeks has been leading up to the fact that I'm just spinning my wheels.
The night before last, I was lying in bed, praying to the gods of sleep, and this image popped into my head. I'm not going to say what it was, because I'm superstitious that way, but I immediately hopped out of bed, grabbed a piece of scratch paper, and wrote it down. I got back into bed and fell asleep within minutes.
The next morning, I retrieved the piece of paper. I guess I should have turned a light on before I scrawled my notes on it. Luckily, I can still make most of it out.
I guess that was what set the wheels a-turnin'.
Anyway, I've decided to get off my ass and actually start one of the projects I've been threatening to do for the past six months. One of the big things I wanted to get started on this year was my Bad Novel. See, as much as I go on about writing, I haven't done a whole lot of it in the past ten years. I seem to be perpetually blocked, although that's loosened up a little lately. I get hung up over issues like "quality" and "not writing complete crap." So, I was thinking about my English professor's "Don't make it good, make it Thursday" rule, and about Hemingway's famous advice that aspiring writers should write a first novel and promptly discard it, and that led to my Bad Novel project.
Basically, my plan is to churn out a novel, heedless of quality or originality or coherence. It'll just be whatever the fuck I want to put in there, with no attempt to blow anyone's mind or even necessarily entertain. In other words, it'll be like NaNoWriMo, but without the time constraints. And yeah, like everything else in my life I'm going to slap it online somewhere, even though I sort of dread the idea of anyone reading my dreck.
More later. Wish me luck!
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COMMENT:
AUTHOR: Jim
EMAIL: chaos@corrupt.net
IP: 67.106.83.29
URL: http://chaos.corrupt.net
DATE: 11/12/2003 01:20:21 PM
You know, even if you hate it two days after you finish it, the glow that you get from having completed some sort of creative (or even technical) work on your own that you've put a lot of effort into makes it worth it, at least the first several times.
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COMMENT:
AUTHOR: estella
EMAIL: floatdrownswim@hotmail.com
IP: 68.99.210.225
URL: http://outofcharacter.blogspot.com
DATE: 11/12/2003 02:13:39 PM
That's awesome, B. Good plan. I have a terrible novel that I did eight or nine years ago; I pretend like it never happened, but in a proud way.
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COMMENT:
AUTHOR: groovebunny
EMAIL: wabbit@groovebunny.com
IP: 68.224.168.139
URL: http://groovebunny.diaryland.com
DATE: 11/12/2003 02:59:10 PM
Great plan. The important thing is to just get writing on it. You just may surprise yourself in the process.
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COMMENT:
AUTHOR: hannah
EMAIL: hannahw@med.umich.edu
IP: 68.42.116.193
URL: http://www.livejournal.com/users/misshannah
DATE: 11/12/2003 04:07:11 PM
Honestly, B...good luck!!
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COMMENT:
AUTHOR: bakiwop
EMAIL: bino1@hotmail.com
IP: 66.84.174.137
URL: http://bakiwop.f2o.org
DATE: 11/12/2003 06:11:32 PM
buena suerte!
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COMMENT:
AUTHOR: Sherri
EMAIL: Sylkenvelvet@yahoo.com
IP: 68.59.165.165
URL: http://formyselfandothers.blogspot.com/
DATE: 11/12/2003 07:04:13 PM
I am so for you. I might even make you an icon of inspiration for my own extremely stuck writing process.
Maybe.
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COMMENT:
AUTHOR: BOB
EMAIL: bob@agirlnamedbob.com
IP: 172.163.101.234
URL: http://agirlnamedbob.com
DATE: 11/12/2003 09:18:32 PM
So cool!
I think putting it online is a good idea. Maybe it will help keep you motivated? Anyway, I'm glad you're doing this! You can do it!
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COMMENT:
AUTHOR: Angela
EMAIL: ienjoyfarting@yahoo.com
IP: 65.117.192.66
URL: http://theshakedown.diaryland.com
DATE: 11/13/2003 12:17:53 PM
you go boy
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COMMENT:
AUTHOR: Sherri
EMAIL: Sylkenvelvet@yahoo.com
IP: 68.59.165.165
URL: http://formyselfandothers.blogspot.com/
DATE: 11/13/2003 12:46:28 PM
http://www.allahpundit.com/archives/000101.html
Go. Look.
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COMMENT:
AUTHOR: BeerMary
EMAIL: mary@rantorama.com
IP: 207.14.214.200
URL: http://www.rantorama.com
DATE: 01/03/2004 02:21:00 PM
Honey, you are so full of talent, I just want to squeeze you and try to steal it! If you choose to do so, I know you can be a famous author. Just don't forget about us online friends who worshipped you from afar before you hit it big! And I want a signed book copy.
☄
A Day | 11.14.03 | 07:03:40 AM
The night before last, I actually felt sleepy at 11 p.m.! So I jumped on that fucker and hit the sack before the sleepy feeling went away. Great!
Presto, seven hours later I woke up bright and early, feeling totally refreshed. Great!
Insomniac cycle broken! Great!
Last night, as I got ready to go to bed at a somewhat later but still respectable 12:15 a.m., I figured I'd have myself a little nightcap to, you know, lay a little asphalt on the road to Sleepyville. Great!
I had just laid in a supply of Kahlua, vodka, and half-and-half, so I figured I'd fix myself a White Russian. Great!
Once again...Kahlua. Suck...?
You know...coffee liqueur. Suck!
Which, I brilliantly managed to forget, contains caffeine.... Suck!
I'm still awake. Suck...
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COMMENT:
AUTHOR: Sherri
EMAIL: Sylkenvelvet@yahoo.com
IP: 68.59.165.165
URL: http://formyselfandothers.blogspot.com/
DATE: 11/14/2003 09:49:16 AM
Didja know that milk (warm, cold, chocolate or laced with brandy) is useful for helping you sleep?
I'm a fan of Cask and Cream myself. Put a shot of THAT into your Hot and Disturbing.
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COMMENT:
AUTHOR: Jim
EMAIL: chaos@corrupt.net
IP: 67.106.83.29
URL: http://chaos.corrupt.net
DATE: 11/14/2003 04:23:40 PM
Suck. Every time I've looked up from my monitor to notice that the sun is now up, I've let out a quiet, but still Shatner-esque "Nooooo!"
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COMMENT:
AUTHOR: dvl
EMAIL: dvloranger@aol.com
IP: 172.195.142.165
URL:
DATE: 11/15/2003 12:12:56 AM
knock three times....
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COMMENT:
AUTHOR: B²
EMAIL: b@weirdsmobile.com
IP: 67.250.176.175
URL: http://www.weirdsmobile.com/b/
DATE: 11/15/2003 04:38:43 AM
Knock knock...knock?
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COMMENT:
AUTHOR: Susan
EMAIL: susan@flowerhead.com
IP: 63.191.96.194
URL: http://flowerhead.com
DATE: 11/15/2003 07:33:27 AM
...On the ceiling if you want me?
I'm not sure what inspired that 70's music moment, but there it is.
Coffee and liquer is a wacked combination. You don't know whether to keel over or bounce off the walls! I like to have a drink like that at the bar late at night, if I'm tired.
☄
A Day | 11.15.03 | 04:35:39 AM
It's been about a month since I started reviewing for DVD Verdict, and it's been an interesting experience. First off, I'd like to note that their readership has gone up by 10% since I started writing for them, and I'd like to think that this rise is very much due to my influence, what with my reviews of such rabidly anticipated DVD releases as A Freezerburnt Christmas and Medley. Clearly my trenchant observations on the art of stop-motion holiday specials has ignited the DVD review reading community.
Boy, though...this group of "judges" has to be about the most stone-faced, humorless group I've ever worked with. I suspect they're taking the whole judicial theme of DVD Verdict way too seriously, because bouncing jokes off of those guys is like throwing a ball against a brick wall. It's weird because they can loosen up in their actual reviews, but our private correspondences are so dry. Needless to say, my "fellow justices" take their jobs very seriously.
I'm running into a problem, though, regarding my reviews. They're getting harder and harder to do. I think part of the problem is that I hate repeating myself, so I keep thinking I need to find a different angle on every review I write, and that I can't repeat myself at all. And the "new guy in the office" syndrome is fully kicking in, so I've got this need to establish myself and set myself apart from the others somehow.
Also, it's weird but, when I was just reading the site instead of writing for it, I had no trouble defining what it was I was looking at the reviews for. But as the one writing them, I don't know anymore what it is that people want out of a review. For instance, I'm currently reviewing the upcoming Aqua Teen Hunger Force DVD set. The way I figure, the only two groups of people who might conceivably check this review out are: 1. People who see the title and go "What the hell is that?" and 2. Gigantic fans of this Cartoon Network series who have seen each episode ten times and are ready to savage any reviewer who doesn't do complete justice to the show.
I tend to write more for group #1 than group #2, so I don't know really what it is that group #2 looks for when they seek out reviews, especially of films they've already done. There's one guy in the Verdict forums who requested a Pleasantville review...even though he already owns the disc. I find that odd. I'd like to know what the motivation is for someone like that. Anyway, I'm constantly trying to make these things more readable.
Damn, now I'm sleepy. I just erased an entire paragraph that had more to do with my dream state than real life. Whooh.
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COMMENT:
AUTHOR: Susan
EMAIL: susan@flowerhead.com
IP: 63.191.96.194
URL: http://flowerhead.com
DATE: 11/15/2003 07:30:37 AM
Woah, there's an Aqua Teen Hunger Force DVD coming out!? Yeeesssssss!
Your work here is done. I am thrilled!
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COMMENT:
AUTHOR: Sherri
EMAIL: Sylkenvelvet@yahoo.com
IP: 68.59.165.165
URL: http://formyselfandothers.blogspot.com/
DATE: 11/15/2003 07:49:36 AM
Well, concerning group 2 -- if my years spent among comic geeks is any indication, they want 1 of 2 things from a review:
1)You agree with them that N-whatever rocked.
2)You agree with them that N-whatever sucked.
Since it's impossible to write a review that will do both, your only option is to pick one and remember that no matter what you do, at least a quarter of your audience is going to hate it.
This includes giving a million dollars to each and every human being on the planet. Some portion of those new millionairs will decide you are trying to put them in a situation of gratitude so you can manipulate them, trying to corrupt their values, had the audacity to think they WANTED your fucking money, or insulted that you gave them the same amount as everyone else since they deserve MORE -- and thus hate you.
It's comforting, in a way.
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COMMENT:
AUTHOR: Jim
EMAIL: chaos@corrupt.net
IP: 12.213.26.109
URL: http://chaos.corrupt.net
DATE: 11/15/2003 01:44:56 PM
I'm in group #2. (And very envious that you already have it.) I think most reasonable members of group #2 are going to ignore your opinion because their minds are already made up about the content and just look for news about features, quality, etc. (As well as blatantly factual errors.) So I wouldn't worry about them.
This situation is different, of course. Since I know you're a reasonable and intelligent reviewer, I'm looking forward to seeing your opinion.
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COMMENT:
AUTHOR: BOB
EMAIL: bob@agirlnamedbob.com
IP: 172.161.214.224
URL: http://agirlnamedbob.com
DATE: 11/15/2003 03:25:44 PM
Personally, I think you only have to devote one sentence to group #2. Something like, "Fans of the series will totally mess themselves over this," or "Fans of the series will be totally disappointed and will consider ending their futile lives." Know what I mean?
☄
A Day | 11.18.03 | 09:58:10 AM
I was talking with Keely yesterday about the proliferation of fitness blogs, and I said that After Hours was kind of like my mental fitness blog. I like that. A weblog to chart the course of my psychological health.
It feels good to be writing again, but I'm coming up against the usual blocks. Plot has never been a problem for me, but that's just the shell. Characters are what inhabit that shell, and I have to inhabit the characters if it's going to happen.
Thing is, I've never had any kind of creative discipline. I can write, but I can't write on demand. I can draw, sort of, but I'll never be an artist because I can't draw the same thing twice. Or maybe I can, but not on demand. That's how I am with character. Sometimes I can do it, sometimes I can't. It depends on what's moving me at the time. That's why short stories are great, because you have the freedom to write about whatever character happens to be checked in at the moment that you sit down at the keyboard.
This is what tripped me up this morning. I sat down to write a scene from my Bad Novel setting up some major characters and plot elements, and I had the thing pretty clearly laid out in my mind, plotwise, but the characters just weren't happening. Yeah, I could type out names and descriptions and push these guys around the narrative game board, but what's the point of that? All you end up with is a lifeless facsimile of a story.
I couldn't get into the characters. I didn't know who they were. They were like strangers on a bus. I could see their faces; I could tell you what they were wearing, describe their gestures and expressions. But as to who they were, I couldn't say.
What I did have was a guy smoking a cigarette on the balcony of his Venice Beach apartment, watching a couple of chicks in bikinis rollerblade past, and behind him a body lying half in and out of the bathroom in a pool of congealing blood. Unfortunately, that guy doesn't appear in my Bad Novel.
Sometimes the art comes to you, and sometimes you go to the art. Real artists, I think, are the ones who can go to the art. Who sit down and open their heads up and make it happen, because their minds are honed that way. I'm not saying they force the issue. I'm saying that they're exceptionally good at picking out what they need at any given moment from the swarm of thoughts that go through their heads. They work with what they have.
Then there are the ones who wait for inspiration to strike. That's me, and as the years have gone by I've realized that this is my great failing, or one of them at least. I confront that thought-swarm without the versatility to sift the nuggets out of the flow. I can't work with what's available; I have to have that specific thing I need dropped into my lap.
That tendency defines my life. I don't open my mouth to speak unless I already know what I'm going to say. I don't act unless I know the moves and their immediate consequences. When I wake up in the morning, I rarely just jump out of bed. I have to have a plan. I've stayed in bed for an hour some mornings because I couldn't finalize my list of at least five actions I would take after getting up.
Which isn't to say that I'm regular about it. One of the things I realize about myself in my 35th year on the planet is that I'm not a spontaneous person; I'm merely impulsive. Spontaneity is the ability to go with the flow; impulsiveness is a lack of self-mastery. It's easy to confuse the two. Few people who looked at my behavior would think of me as one of those utterly regular, clockwork types, because I rarely do anything with that kind of dependability. There are people who get up at the same time every morning, have the same breakfast, wear the same clothes...if you wanted to assassinate them, all you'd have to do is plant a bomb to go off on their front porch at one precise time of day, because they'd unfailingly hit that mark on schedule. But I'm not that way, and for years I saw that as a sign of flexibility.
But no. In some ways, to be ruled by your impulses is the ultimate inflexibility. Like the cars at Autopia, you're on a track from which you cannot deviate; it's just that the tracks switch randomly, so you never ride the same pattern twice.
That's how it is with the writing. If my plan were to write a Bad Short Story Anthology instead of a Bad Novel, I'd be in good stead with the Lord. I could just get up in the morning, sit down here, and see where the Muse took me. Bloody horror story? Noir-ish mystery? A whimsical tale of a mouse who could fly an airplane? (Hmmm...) But no, I sit down to a task already laid out for me, and because I'm not Feeling It I can't Do It.
You can have all the talent in the world, and it won't do you a speck of good in the long run if you don't have the consistency and focus and will to take control of that talent and make it do what you need to do. If you spend your life at the mercy of the winds you end up with fragments, a drawer full of beginnings.
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COMMENT:
AUTHOR: Sherri
EMAIL: Sylkenvelvet@yahoo.com
IP: 68.59.165.165
URL: http://formyselfandothers.blogspot.com/
DATE: 11/18/2003 11:39:05 AM
I'm so much like you in this area that it makes me feel like puking. Not that you are anyone to cause puking, but because you are saying everything outloud that has been floating in my skull for the last two years.
One difference is that characters walk out of the ether for me, but I can't make a plot to save myself. Oh, I understand plot and all that, but nothing I come up with seems worthwhile.
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COMMENT:
AUTHOR: Wendy
EMAIL: wendy@weirdsmobile.com
IP: 165.247.27.121
URL: http://weirdsmobile.com/wendy
DATE: 11/19/2003 11:04:14 AM
I wrote a long comment about talent, dreams, and ambition and then I deleted it all because I didn't want to write a blog entry in response to your blog entry. But the general idea was that I hate to see talent go wasted by lack of ambition and cynicism. You MUST see your story through to the end.
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COMMENT:
AUTHOR: Susan
EMAIL: susan@flowerhead.com
IP: 66.173.50.19
URL: http://flowerhead.com
DATE: 11/19/2003 09:19:49 PM
You know, your blog entries always rock. Have you ever thought of writing more of a non-fiction essay style book? That would probably be easier and come more naturally, and is no less commendable.
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COMMENT:
AUTHOR: Rengirl
EMAIL: imac@pixelsensei.com
IP: 12.22.65.5
URL:
DATE: 11/20/2003 08:53:52 AM
I know what you mean. What about those cases when you feel like you had it but then somewhere along the way, you lost it? At least you know where you are weak. Maybe that's the first step to getting in the right track?
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COMMENT:
AUTHOR: groovebunny
EMAIL: wabbit@groovebunny.com
IP: 68.224.168.139
URL: http://groovebunny.diaryland.com
DATE: 11/20/2003 10:05:23 PM
After reading that your entry, I wonder if you would ever consider writing about someone who is a slave to their impulsiveness.
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COMMENT:
AUTHOR: B²
EMAIL: b@weirdsmobile.com
IP: 67.250.82.202
URL: http://www.weirdsmobile.com/b/
DATE: 11/21/2003 04:10:12 AM
Sherri: I'm better with plot because plot is more about mechanics and causality -- A leads to B leads to C. I'm good at working with patterns and building structures, so I feel much more in my element. Characters on the other hand, if they're any good, are much more unpredictable and complex in their motivations and thoughts, and most importantly, less subject to control. That's why I despair of ever really being able to hack it, because the things that are most important to good characterization, like empathy and letting your characters breathe, are my weakest areas.
Wendy: It's funny but I was just telling someone that I kind of dig it when people leave longer comments, but I think most people find that not so good. Too bad you didn't e-mail me with it, though!
Susan: I've never seriously considered a nonfiction book, because, for a guy with two concurrent weblogs, I don't feel I have that much to say. I guess I could do a "How to Illicitly Appropriate and Modify Comic Strips" guide.
Rengirl: Well, I was talking to Sandra earlier tonight on a related subject, and I think the reason I lose it is that I start these projects specifically to allow myself freedom to write or not write, but as soon as I do, it's a PROJECT and therefore becomes WORK, and I lose interest. I really need to get over this. I think my DVD reviewing is a start, because as I've said before, it's my first real regular writing commitment where I have to churn out a certain amount of writing on demand. It hasn't been without its rocky patches, but I feel like I'm getting more into the groove.
Groovebunny: Speaking of groove... Writing about someone who is a slave to their impulsiveness...isn't that basically my weblog(s)??? Although actually you planted a seed...we'll see....
☄
A Day | 11.21.03 | 05:34:11 AM
Sing it with me, people!
I feel pissy,
Oh so pissy,
I feel pissy and prickly and trite!
And I envy
Any dweeb who isn't me tonight!
—Maria from "West Side Story" (that is, if she were an embittered male in his mid-30's.
I was down and out with some mysterioso illness yesterday (and probably today, too). One of those things where you fall into a fitful sleep, are savaged by bizarre ass dreams (Sandra was freaked out over this tiny spider and wanted me to kill it, which I did, but then there was this gigantic crablike spider monster, which Sandra for some reason was completely unconcerned about.), and wake up all sweaty and disoriented.
So I'm out of sorts this morning, and—what the fuck...this cat is totally yowling its head off under my window!—anyway, it didn't really help that the last thing I watched last night was the 4th season finale of The Sopranos. If you haven't seen it, suffice it to say that it's extremely uncomfortable, depressing, and open-ended, which is great (Sarcasm.) if you don't have HBO and watch Sopranos in box sets which come out like once every Pope. I'm wondering what the possibility is of having HBO by next March when the new season starts up.
Anyway, I cruised the web for a while looking for reviews of the 4th season, and I came across the Sopranos site at Television Without Pity, which I haven't read since September 2001 when the whole snark-for-snark's-sake thing lost some of its luster for me. Suddenly it all came flooding back. Oh yeah...so that's why I stopped reading these fucking things! Never has so much talent been worked so hard in service of something so completely inconsequential. I remember dropping by there a few months ago and seeing a writer there, someone I knew briefly and respected like crazy, still doing those fucking TV show recaps after two years. Not writing a novel or book of essays, mind you, even though he makes David Sedaris look about as funny as David Brinkley. Not writing for SNL or the Daily Show or The Onion.
Writing TV episode recaps?!
It's just so fucking depressing. And yeah, I know a lot of people find TWP hilarious. That's fine. I'm one of them. I enjoy the site when I'm reading about some particularly stupid episode of Trading Spaces or something. But when they try to snark out over a show that actually kicks ass, like The Sopranos, it just highlights how ultimately sad this entire enterprise is considering how talented many of the people behind it are. These guys are spending their free time scavenging in the wake of people who are actually contributing something cool and real to the world. Why? It's one thing if that's the extent of your ability, but like my former friend, if you can do so much more, why are you blowing it on some website whose entire raison d'être is picking over the previous evening's TV scraps? TV show recaps? At your age? Come on, man!
I'm one to talk, right? Be sure to check out tomorrow's "Bitter Ex-Boyfriend Comix." I'm gonna pump that baby out right after I finish up my weekly novel and before I head out to the Pullitzer Prize Winners' Skee-Ball & BBQ Soiree. But that's why I'm depressed instead of merely contemptuous. I feel like I'm in a similar place, spinning my wheels, amusing myself with gags while I postpone my other plans for another week.
Okay, I think I got that out of my system. Thanks for sticking with me there.
On the brighter side, I'm getting the Firefly: Complete Series box set in a few days. I've never seen a single episode of this show, but with Joss Whedon you got no complaints.
Which reminds me, in case you're interested, here are three of my more notable (that is, least obscure) DVD Verdict reviews of the past few weeks:
Scarface: 20th Anniversary Edition
Aqua Teen Hunger Force: Volume One
What's Up, Tiger Lily?
Coming Soon...Smallville: Season One and Alien Resurrection from the upcoming Quadrilogy box set. I still can't believe I'm getting free DVDs out of this shit.
- - - Comments - - -
COMMENT:
AUTHOR: Xkot
EMAIL: xkot@xkot.net
IP: 68.19.229.163
URL: http://www.xkot.net
DATE: 11/21/2003 05:54:00 AM
Firefly... aaaah... I can't wait to get that DVD set in my greedy little hands. Cancelling that show was the dumbest thing Fox ever did.
Your mention of David Sedaris reminded me of something I've been thinking about lately. If he had a weblog I have a feeling he'd never have been published. He'd have put all his little tales up on his blog and they'd have sat there like all the other great blog entries people have written. I'm starting to view blogs as a huge talent sink.
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COMMENT:
AUTHOR: B²
EMAIL: b@weirdsmobile.com
IP: 67.250.176.110
URL: http://www.weirdsmobile.com/b/
DATE: 11/21/2003 06:53:09 AM
See, I go through this cycle where I start thinking, "You know, I spend all my creative energy on this blog." So I quit, but then I think "Yeah, but there are certain things I want to do that have no other appropriate outlet." So I come back. Rinse and repeat.
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COMMENT:
AUTHOR: Susan
EMAIL: susan@flowerhead.com
IP: 63.190.97.9
URL: http://flowerhead.com
DATE: 11/21/2003 03:40:26 PM
Great Aqua Teen Hunger Force review - I can't wait to see it! :-) That and "Bitter Ex-Boyfriend Comix". Hee!
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COMMENT:
AUTHOR: Jim
EMAIL: chaos@corrupt.net
IP: 67.106.83.29
URL: http://chaos.corrupt.net
DATE: 11/21/2003 03:44:20 PM
That ATHF review was brilliant. It is extremely hard to explain why that show is so great, and you nailed it. Nailed it and crucified it, even.
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COMMENT:
AUTHOR: B²
EMAIL: b@weirdsmobile.com
IP: 67.250.85.136
URL: http://www.weirdsmobile.com/b/
DATE: 11/21/2003 06:50:19 PM
Thanks, dudes! My main regret with that review, though, is that I didn't mention the awesome Schooly D! My name is... Shake-zula, the mic rulah, the old schoolah, you wanna trip, I'll bring it to ya...
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COMMENT:
AUTHOR: KateMonkey
EMAIL: dymphna@dymphna.net
IP: 62.254.0.38
URL: http://www.katemonkey.co.uk
DATE: 11/21/2003 10:49:15 PM
Ahahahaha!
Sorry, you're going to review Smallville. Therefore, all I can do is laugh.
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COMMENT:
AUTHOR: B²
EMAIL: b@weirdsmobile.com
IP: 67.250.85.136
URL: http://www.weirdsmobile.com/b/
DATE: 11/22/2003 12:28:10 AM
You don't like Smallville? I dig it! Although actually, when it first aired I stopped watching after the first few episodes, but seeing the rest of them on this box set turned me around. Smallville rocks!!
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COMMENT:
AUTHOR: dvl
EMAIL: dvloranger@aol.com
IP: 172.195.156.3
URL:
DATE: 11/22/2003 05:35:00 PM
... and she sits quietly pondering how wonderfully complete her life would be if only she had a man who would sing show tunes to her.
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COMMENT:
AUTHOR: BOB
EMAIL: bob@agirlnamedbob.com
IP: 172.136.188.75
URL: http://agirlnamedbob.com
DATE: 11/22/2003 09:13:33 PM
I adore your reviews.
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COMMENT:
AUTHOR: KateMonkey
EMAIL: dymphna@dymphna.net
IP: 62.254.0.38
URL: http://www.katemonkey.co.uk
DATE: 11/23/2003 03:44:28 PM
I think my opinion of Smallville has been skewed hopelessly by the fandom that's sprung from it, fully formed, like a really bitchy annoying flame-war inducing Athena from the fandom head of Zeus.
Because, apparently, if a show is really really really overladen with homoerotic subtext, you can ignore really bad acting and writing, and declare it the greatest show EVAH.
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COMMENT:
AUTHOR: B²
EMAIL: b@weirdsmobile.com
IP: 67.250.82.55
URL: http://www.weirdsmobile.com/b/
DATE: 11/23/2003 03:57:50 PM
I guess that's one advantage I have in reviewing something like this from outside of the culture, because I really have no idea what the nature of the fandom is or what else people are saying about it. If I'd been following the show regularly and talking to fans for the past three years, I'd probably have a completely different perspective. But then, that's part of my personal critical manifesto, to separate the art from the hype. Otherwise I'm just following/reacting against fashion.
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COMMENT:
AUTHOR: Sherri
EMAIL: Sylkenvelvet@yahoo.com
IP: 68.59.165.165
URL: http://formyselfandothers.blogspot.com/
DATE: 11/25/2003 03:35:06 PM
back to the "talent sink of the blog" idea. I tested that one, too, this year and...it ain't so for me, either. When I first started keeping a web journal, I was also writin a great deal. Eventually I stopped writing and was ONLY doing the journal. So I stopped the journal, thinking "it's sucking everything away!" And I still didn't write anything. So, after about 9 months, I ventured back and, while I'm still not writing so much off the weblog, at least I'm writing ON the weblog.
If you are gonna write, you are gonna write. You are going to write what's in your head and soul no matter what else because you HAVE to do it. It isn't about what you "should" write or what you "could" write. It's about what you ARE writing. The important thing is to KEEP writing.
And eating chocolate. History only records drinking authors. How many are chocoholics?
For Skattie.